Merceda Gooding " I am a survivor"

Doctors say I will never get better or go into remission...I am not giving up, but I want to make others aware. A nap won't help. I am not lazy. I am on meds. I struggle with pain, mobility issues, and fatigue every day. The most frustrating part is people look at me and say "It can't be that bad; you look fine." Despite the fact that my body is experiencing excruciating pain all over. I apologize if I miss events that I would love to attend. One day you'll understand my daily struggles. This disease affects me physically, mentally, and emotionally. I need your support, not your judgment. I'm watching the ones who will take the time to read this post to the end."

With the post comes the following request:

"Please, in honor of someone who is fighting Autoimmune, Devic Disease (NMO) Sarcoidosis, 💜💜Lupus💜💜, Multiple Sclerosis 🧡🧡, Cancer💛💛, Rheumatoid Arthritis💜💜,💚💚 Gastroparesis 💚💚 💜Thyroid diseases💜, 💜 Chronic Pain💜Anxitey❤️❤️Depression❤️❤️💜💜Fibromyalgia💜💜 Polycythemia Vera💙💙 COPD💙💙Diabeties, Hiv/Aids❤❤ or any other hidden illnesses. 


Thank you for your support and not running away from me!". True human kindness is the divine creator's way.

"Triumphing over a Dysfunctional Family"

Scripture: And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers; he will crush your head, and you will strike his heel.” Genesis 3:15

I’m at a certain place in my journey comparing and judging “The perfect family” is nonsense. As I conduct my research on this topic, I discovered that a dysfunctional family is that which is not operating in its original design. Basically, the family relationship doesn’t function in a positive and healthy way. Sometimes we all can look at our family comparing to a tv family and then convince ourselves that our family is a dysfunctional mess!!! To be specific a family dysfunction examples are constrained relational connection, workaholism, families who gathered around the T.V. but never talk face-to-face, abuse (physical and verbal), a lack of love and communication, limited time together or affirmation, jealousy, failure to respect one another, no boundaries set, lack of nurture and encouragement, and so on…. Dysfunctional families produce dysfunctional children that could go on for a generation unless there are intervention to break the cycle of dysfunction. That intervention is God, He wants to help dysfunctional families.

As we look back to the beginning of time as God created man, the first dysfunctional family was Adam, Eve and their two sons Cain and Abel. As we all know the story, God forbid Adam and Eve to eat the fruit from the tree of life (knowledge of good and evil). This caused a disorder in the creation, thus humanity inherited sin and guilt from Adam and Eve's sin as they rebel against God. God speaks to them:

Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?” And the man said, “The woman who you gave me, she gave me the fruit and I ate it.” Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this that you have done?” And the woman said, “The serpent, the serpent tricked me and then I ate.” And the Lord said to the serpent, “Because you have done this cursed are you among all animals and among all wild creatures. Upon your belly, you shall go and dust you shall eat all the days of your life. I will put enmity between you and the woman and between your offspring and hers. He will strike your head and you will strike his heel. (Genesis chapter 3:11 - 15)

Now to get some understanding of this verse, I research the word enmity: an adoption of hostility whether between individual or between bodies of people. When men exercise violation and rebel against the creator enmity is the result. In this case Adam and Eve, this would be the norm - rebellion - and between their children (offspring). A perfect harmony of dysfunction (family, etc.) when it comes to the flesh Romans 8:7 reads“ the mind of the flesh is hostile to God: It does not submit to God’s Law, nor can it do so”.

The two sons, Cain and Abel: Abel kept sheep and Cain tilled the ground. In the course of time, Cain brought to the Lord an offering of the fruit of the ground and Abel, for his part, brought the firstborn of his flock. They were fat portions and the Lord had regard for Abel and his offspring but for Cain and his offspring, he had no regard. And so, Cain was very angry, and his countenance fell. But the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry and why has your countenance fallen? If you do well will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well sin is lurking at the door, its desire is for you, but you must master it.” Cain said to his brother, “Let’s go out into the field.” And when they were out there in the field Cain revolted against his brother, Abel, and killed him. (Genesis chapter 4)

Here we have it, the very first family. They rebel against God; husband blames wife; wife blames the serpent and brother murder brother. It’s the absolute natural state of a family that turns against God. But the good news is that God forgives, but can we?

One major issue of a dysfunctional family is forgiveness; releasing the pain and suffering. From a psychological perspective, forgiveness can improve both your psychological and physical well-being. It will take some of us to hit “rock bottom’ to change our dysfunctional behaviors. What imprisons us to keep these dysfunctional behaviors because we view the word forgiveness as being weak and then we underestimate the power of forgiveness. Some us allow our ego, ornery or combative attitude to prevent us from giving or receiving forgiveness. It would take some of us to transform to destroy our toxic “self-righteous” attitude. We fail to realize that forgiveness is to help the other person who we had hurt could recover and be healed. Another reason why forgiveness is important, it’s not to free the person who hurt you from the blame but to transform your own anger and hurt into healing. It’s also not that easy to forgive because “it is a conscious decision to release feelings of resentment toward a person who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve it.”

If someone refuses to admit their wrongs to me, I learn to move forward and love them from a distance without feeling any guilt. Keeping in mind that forgiveness does not mean letting someone off the hook for their wrongdoings or completely forgetting about the past. It certainly does not mean remaining in touch with the person who hurt me and tolerating their future maltreatment. What forgiveness means is setting myself free, so I can move on and eliminate the negative experience of stress, improve my future, inner conflict and at the same time help me restore positive feelings, behaviors, and thoughts. I learn to constantly challenge my mind to see things from a different perspective that forgiveness and compassion are powerful and the highest qualities that any person can achieve.

Let’s make sure we don’t have a dysfunctional relationship with God…..

Prayer:

Dear Omnipotent, Omnipresence, Omniscient God, you created families, this universe and everything in it according to your sovereign plan.  We are the descendants of Adam and Eve who rebelled and was cast out of Eden by the Creator because of their sin. Their sin led to being the 1^st dysfunctional family. God allows us not to believe the deceitful myth of a picture “perfect family” and continue to make us aware of the danger in comparing families as your word states “We dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise” (II Corinthians 10:12) believing that there is no hope for our families. 

The ideal perfect family does not take into account the following realities by your Word: Our sin nature; The influence of the world, the flesh, and the devil; Spiritual growth through trials and the uniqueness of family members. Lord, I thank you that we can trust you to come to fix our shortcomings, challenges, trials, character deficiencies and conflicts in our families because we (all) haven’t arrived yet. Thank you for your love and forgiveness, in your precious name, AMEN.

"My DNA Origins" and why I conduct research of my family history

I've been diagnosed with an autoimmune disease, chronic pain syndrome, interstitial cystitis (painful bladder syndrome) and chronic asthma, etc. The day I was diagnosed I wanted to find out more about my genetics and family history. At this present time, no one in my family has these diseases so I asked my mother, "Am I adopted?" She laughed because she has been with my father for over 50 years. A long-term marriage isn't popular these days, my grandma and my grandfather were together for over 75 years until death-" Death does us part". So I have a family who believes in marriage, loyal to the belief sticking together.  So with both sides of my grandparents was easy for me to get familiar with their health. Now going back to the previous question I asked my mother, "Am I adopted?" We both laugh for 20 minutes but I was really serious because I didn't understand how and why I am diagnosed with these diseases and no one in my family has not been diagnosed with these diseases. I was overwhelmed with worry and  a sense of hopeless overcame me and wondering "Why God abandon me?"

This journey, I had approximately 20 or more surgical procedures, operations, etc., and it became deeply exhausting and depressing, I became spiritually bankrupt and isolated. When  I go out in society, no one couldn't see my emotions because I learn to put on a mask. The disease isn't visual,  I still looked like a "Diva". LOL

I experience constant flares with severe pain. The pain would be so unbearable, I would cry sometimes in distress. Then, I will actually go to the Emergency room and sit all night because I didn't understand the disease and what was going on with my body, sometimes I feel like I got hit by a truck. One time, I was feeling bad and went to the ER my kidneys were failing, scary. Another ER experience, my lungs were filled with pneumonia and I had a painful bladder syndrome. I became so paranoid that every pain or discomfort, I would rush to the ER.   I remember in my own mind in desperation, the ER doctor will have a magic pill to cure me. One day, an ER doctor said to me in a nice soft low tone," Ms. Gooding this is part of your disease", "I know you are scared but you have to be strong go through this illness." I walked out the ER and I sat in my car and cried; suddenly I felt a strong spirit of comfort while the spirit of hopelessness left. As I drove home, I came to an understanding that God never abandon me, He was there carrying me through this illness and "He" is the only true healer to cure me of this incurable disease.

The autoimmune disease I was diagnosed with is called Sjogren's Syndrome. It accompanies with rheumatoid arthritis and Lupus; this disease attacks the glands in the eyes and mouth. Symptoms such as chronic joint pain, stiffness, fatigue, and a dry cough. In addition, it can damage your thyroid, joints, kidneys, liver, lungs, and skin. Certain genes put people at higher risk of the disorder, but it appears that a triggering mechanism — such as infection with a particular virus or strain of bacteria — is also necessary. So to conduct research of this disease I wanted to know more about my current and past family history for genetic reasons.   The gender ratio, Sjogrens Syndrome nearly 14 women affected per one man,” the study included 7,748 women (93%) and 562 men (7%), with an average age of 53 at diagnosis. Ethnicity data were available for 7,884 (95%): 6,174 patients (78%) were white; 1,066 (14%), Asian; 393 (5%), Hispanic; 104 (1%), black/African-American; and 147 (2%) were of other ethnicity.  Systemic lupus erythematosus, which has been reported as being more frequent and having less favorable outcomes in non-white populations.

Lupus is more frequent and more severe with higher disease activity and more damage accrual in non-Caucasian populations (Hispanics, African descendants, and Asians) than in Caucasians. To overcome these differences it is necessary to optimize health care access to disadvantaged populations and use innovative tools to increase disease awareness and improve treatment adherence. Therefore by a racial/ethnic group, the percentages of patients with lupus or lupus nephritis were: black: 40 %; white: 38%; Hispanic: 15%; Asian: 5%; and Native American 2%. The annual death rate was highest among Native Americans, blacks, and whites, in that order.

Interstitial Cystitis disease is found 17 times more common in first-degree relatives (parent, sibling, or child) of patients with interstitial cystitis than in the general population. Furthermore, if one twin has interstitial cystitis, the disease is much more common in identical co-twins than fraternal co-twins. Of patients with interstitial cystitis, 94% are white and approximately 90% are female. ... There is significant overlap of symptoms of IC/BPS to symptoms of patients with chronic prostatitis/chronic pelvic pain syndrome. This evidence suggests that, in some families, genes that make a person susceptible to interstitial cystitis are being passed from one generation to the next.


 I read that there are many possible causes of human disease, family history is often one of the strongest risk factors for common disease complexes such as cancer, cardiovascular disease (CVD), diabetes, autoimmune disorders, and variety of illnesses. A person inherits a complete set of genes from each parent, as well as a vast array of cultural and socioeconomic experiences from his/her family. Family history is thought to be a good predictor of an individual’s disease risk because family members most closely represent the unique genomic and environmental interactions that an individual experiences (Kardia et al., 2003). For more than 100 years, human geneticists have been studying how variations in genes contribute to variations in disease risk. One approach is genetic epidemiology, including twin studies, provides robust evidence that genetic variation in human populations contributes to susceptibility to disease. Another approach focuses on identifying the individual genes with variations that give rise to simple Mendelian patterns of disease inheritance. The last approach is to seek to understand the genetic susceptibility to disease as the consequence of the joint effects of many genes. Diseases tend to run in some families suggests that there may be a genetic susceptibility to the disease. National Institutions of Health study genes that are found far more common in family members who have the disease than in those who do not have the disease. Studies of familial aggregation can, therefore, investigate the importance of shared determinants, both environmental and genetic, in disease susceptibility.

The results of my DNA exposes that I am  African (Ghana, Senegal, Cameroon, Togo, and Nigeria), Native Indian, it also identifies that I am 18% white from Europe (Iberian peninsula, Ireland, Great Britain Scandinavia, and Germany) and 1% Asian. (This doesn't' change the fact that I am and live as a proud black woman). I believed it is important for me to take this test to get familiar with my genetic history for health reasons.  



References:

 The Rheumatologist
http://www.the-rheumatologist.org/article/location-ethnicity-affect-manifestations-primary-sjogrens-syndrome/
The Sjogren's Syndrome Foundation
http://www.the-rheumatologist.org/article/location-ethnicity-affect-manifestations-primary-sjogrens-syndrome/
Kardia SL, Modell SM, Peyser PA. Family-centered approaches to understanding and preventing coronary heart disease. American Journal of Preventive Medicine. 2003;24(2):143–151. 
Genetics of Interstitial Cystitis (magic)  https://clinicaltrials.gov/ct2/show/NCT00237081
Genes, Behavior, and the Social Environment: Moving Beyond Nature/Nurture Debate
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK19932/
Ethnicity in systemic lupus erythematosus (SLE): its influence on susceptibility and outcomes https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/24097993